So what's the topic of the week folks: bullying. Now I know your thinking bullying is an issue everywhere, how is this a new and relevant topic. I'm not talking about student bullying, I'm talking about seeds that were planted years ago, and now unfortunately, have bloomed into a full on epidemic: Parents bullying teachers. I'm not sure anyone has ever coined this phrase, but I know all educators can relate to feeling like a punching bag at some point in their teaching career.
In my short career I have had my integrity questioned, been accused of discouraging children to make their own decisions, I've been forced to change curriculum with threats of lawsuits, and the icing on the cake: I've been accused of being Over paid!
I've been sent hate email, had parents go straight to the superintendent with questions I could easily answer, I've even had parents accuse me of hiding student materials (books/computers).
Crazy, unheard of, insanity you might say. But if you're a teacher your response to all this would be "yeah, join the club."
We have reached a breaking point in education. A line has been crossed that I'm not sure we can recover from. The idea that all people, regardless of profession, are treated with a little human decency is now athing of the past. When I receive daily emails that are sent district wide questioning my integrity, professionalism, and motives, that borders on defamation of character.
The constant threat of losing your job, a lack of resources and time, long hours, expected unpaid overtime, the lowest pay, and now becoming the punching bag for anyone who wishes without threat of retaliation. It's real easy to to swing at a target you know won't ever hit back.
The worst part of everything I have just said: our kids are watching. Kids watch this behavior, they learn it, and then they copy it. That's the thing about kids they're constantly watching the adults around them to help understand how the world works and how to act within it. Think of what we have just taught them.
Can things change, sure they can change. But the next generation of parents just saw first hand how little we think of educators in this country and how they don't deserve their respect. So I wouldn't expect that change to come soon. That change will only come when the world finally realizes that we're all teachers in one why or another, and we're on the same side.
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A very tough subject, no doubt. Certainly, the incivility we are seeing in every aspect of society is present in schools and in parents' dealings with teachers. What can we do about it? I think the first thing we can do is to "take the high road" in dealing with parents and community members. Always be professional (even when difficult to do...and even when they are not!).
ReplyDeleteOf course, email and cellphones now enable just about everyone to make accusations, comments, leave messages that should never be communicated in that manner. Look how easy it is to fire off an angry email and also send it to everyone in range. Very inappropriate...and just plain wrong.
The other thing that schools must do is not to respond in this way...literally to teach other adults about appropriate ways to communiciate with us. (Yes, I know...just what you need...more teaching to adults!).
Ed...I gotta tell ya...I'm with JStaff in that taking the high road is getting a little tiresome. We can talk till we're blue in the face as to how we have to show children a better way...but when it comes to poor behavior we have to face the facts that they are learning this unbelievable form of 'behavior' from their so-called parents for 24 hours a day 365 days a year (366 on a leap year). My actual impact on student behavior (felt over 50 minutes a day for 55 days a trimester while I'm trying to teach them everything else under the sun) is going to be minimal. So what do we do now? Suck it up and accept the fact that we are in a semi-no win profession so far as the vast majority of the public is concerned or pack it in and become a Walmart greeter? I'm starting to lean every day towards Walmart. More on this on my blog as I'm feeling a rant coming on.
ReplyDeleteQuite a topic! Too often we think of bullying as student to student - I guess I never thought of bullying as parent to teacher. And I have to say I never saw this until this year it seems and it has to do with the incoming students to the middle school. It seems parents want us to still hold their hand like in first grade and not hold them accountable. I, too, have had remarks this year that I never had in the past - why are your standards so high? Why can't my child have extra credit? Why - why - why? These expectations are mirrored in the students - we all agree that we have never met a more immature group of students that were totally unprepared for the step to middle school. My principal is great - he tells me - kill them with kindness. We are a professional and that is what professionals do. Course, I document everything to back up what I have to say if ever confronted. Even adults need to learn how to communicate appropriately - never to old to learn. Another case in point - one of my students has a parent at UMO as a student - found my first class account at UMO and started to email me there instead of my school account. It took three times for him to get the point that I will respond only to my school account - not mu UMaine account. Sometimes it's easy to see where the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!
ReplyDeleteI was fairly lucky in my brief time in regards to this. A very large number of the parents whom I felt would be bullies had a lot of their anger leveled at my subject matter rather than myself. I only ever had one issue with a parent, and the situation and blame were placed squarely by her on her daughter.
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