Parent Involvement: Honesty is Always the Best Policy

I've had the unique opportunity of teaching in two very different communities in two years. Last year I found myself disappointed by the lack of parental involvement.  This year I often wish for many parents to take a step back and let me do my job.  

So which problem is worse?  

I guess "helicopter" parents that can be pushy and overbearing at times must care a whole lot, right?  I've found it easier to disarm an overactive parent, then try and convince a parent to care about education when I can't get them to respond to a phone message or note home.  

My point of all this is that one way or another, issues with parent involvement, or lack of, will always be a part of teaching.  Often times we forget that kids are an extension of their parents. Their traits, good or bad, their worth ethic, their fears and phobias, and their ability to handle social situations all connect kids to their parents.  When I meet parents every triumph and every issue I've had with their son or daughter all seems to click and make sense.

When it comes down to it parental involvement, whether positive or negative, usually comes down to parent teacher relationships and affective communication.  

The simplest way to improve parent teacher relationships is to be honest. Crazy I know!  It's amazing to me that educators have such a hard time being honest with parents.  Now I'm not suggesting giving up on tact and professionalism, but why must we sugar coat to a point of lying to parents? What reason is a good enough reason to be dishonest with parents about kids?  I can't tell you how many times I've found myself in meetings where everyone knew what needed to be said, but no one had the guts to say it. We are doing a disservice our students if we can not effectively communicate with their parents.  In a diplomatic and professional manner, utilizing the right words,  you can tell someone almost anything without offending them.  And of somebody is offended by a truth that must be addressed, then so be it.  Many that I work with are afraid of litigation.  My philosophy on litigation is that you can sue for many reasons, but telling the truth is not one of them.  

Because many are afraid to communicate the truth to parents they don't communicate at all. This is almost worse than being dishonest.  A lack of communication can be seen as a forfeit of responsibility for a students learning.  In a time when I as an educator am stressing parent & student responsibility for one's own education, how can I remove myself as a participating party.  Student success is built on the reciprocal triangle of parent, teacher, and student involvement, responsibility, and communication.  

We must remember that we are models for what we teach and preach. What we want from our students and their parents we much not only teach with words, but teach by example.